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His First Birthday in Heaven...

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I thought I was prepared for your first birthday in heaven...he'd be 23 today! Nothing could have ever prepared me for this day! The bittersweet of knowing you have a son gives me joy Beyond any measure, the pain of not being able to hold you and tell you how much I love you is also beyond anything I've ever known, anything I can possibly measure and anything I can possibly Express in this blog. To all the parents, friends, siblings, relatives and loved ones who have lost anyone to addiction or anything else that feel this pain, my heart goes out to you. The only thing I have to say today is that if you feel anything close to what I feel do not keep it to yourself please share it with someone whether it be via a Blog, Facebook, a loved one, a stranger... Please do not hold this inside because it will kill you emotionally mentally physically it will take you down and break you into so many pieces that you will not recover. I know that my son Collin would want me to carry on...
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What I wouldn't do for 5 more minutes....

If someone had told me 2 years ago I be sitting here writing a Blog about the death of my son, I would have probably not believed them. Not that I didn't doubt that there was a possibility that my son will not be here, it would have been more about the blog. In my own abilities to write something that would affect others lives in a positive way. That was what this blog started out to be. To share my experience, strength, hope, and love, so not one more mother or father felt alone in their grief. The loss of a child to addiction is not like any other loss. Not that I'm discounting any other parents loss, don't take me wrong. Any loss, any grief in this way is horrifying. No parent should bury a child. I don't care what age. I don't care what the reason. However, watching your child kill themselves over an extended period of time is excruciating, unnecessary, and something that no one should have to endure. My story is similar to everyone else's and yet unlike e...
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Does Anyone Out There Truly Listen?

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It has become painfully obvious to me that the culture in which we live in is one of apathy and one-sideness. Where people only care about their own personal causes and their own experiences and don't truly appreciate or care about their neighbors, friends, or even families causes, concerns, failures, pain, or triumphs! Now I understand that this is a general statement and does not apply to all. I personally do have friends and some family who care about others. Today happens to be a painful day in my life that probably no one is even aware of. Because it wasn't their child who died. They do not count the days since they last saw his sweet face or heard his voice or the sound of his laughter. My own husband doesn't even feel it necessary to celebrate with me or mourn in the way that I do. He doesn't grieve like I do or feel as if he needs to support my cause in supporting other parents who lost their children to overdose. I don't understand it but I just agree to...
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