The Bitter with the sweet

Today marks the day that we haven't had your smile for nine months now. It also comes with the Bittersweet passing of your Pap Don. So I know that he is with you now. You have an entire family up there with you.
For me left down here, it's a bitter with the sweet kind of moment. Bitter because of the bite! The sting of death no matter how my heart and mind know about the afterlife, I still have immense pain. The sweet because I believe that you are all together having nothing but sheer love, joy, and walking with our Lord.
In the days and weeks and months to come I will experience Joy, laughter, pain, sorrow, and my expectations of my self are always higher than anyone Else's. Above and beyond the noise and confusion of my own mind and of this world is something so much more important...My love for my children! My love for my family! My love for my friends! Most importantly my love for my Heavenly Father!
I miss you my son more than my lungs can handle air Sometimes!
I physically do not have the power to move myself. God has given me that Strength when I've lost it. When I heard of my Daddy's passing, my heart just ached, not just for me but for my sisters and your siblings. The pain of the last few years has been just too much. My Daddy, Pap,is now up there with you and your posse carrying on.
My heart is going to be broken without you for a while my boy. I will survive.
There is light at the end of this very long dark tunnel. I see it on good days.
Today I go and see our KC Family. They miss you very much too. My heart needs to be there. I know that you get that more than the rest. You will always be where my heart and mind go to when my heart is hurting.
So until I see you again my sweet boy, hold him one time for me! I love you both very much 💞
I love you to the moon and back
More than all of the stars in the sky
More than the warmest of sunshine on my face
I will love you into my eternity...

Love,

Momma

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