His First Birthday in Heaven...



I thought I was prepared for your first birthday in heaven...he'd be 23 today! Nothing could have ever prepared me for this day! The bittersweet of knowing you have a son gives me joy Beyond any measure, the pain of not being able to hold you and tell you how much I love you is also beyond anything I've ever known, anything I can possibly measure and anything I can possibly Express in this blog. To all the parents, friends, siblings, relatives and loved ones who have lost anyone to addiction or anything else that feel this pain, my heart goes out to you. The only thing I have to say today is that if you feel anything close to what I feel do not keep it to yourself please share it with someone whether it be via a Blog, Facebook, a loved one, a stranger... Please do not hold this inside because it will kill you emotionally mentally physically it will take you down and break you into so many pieces that you will not recover. I know that my son Collin would want me to carry on with my head held high saying my heart may be shattered but I am not not broken! Once upon a time a long time ago he had to write a paper "Who is your hero" and it was about me and I hope that he is looking down today and is proud and he can still say that I am his hero because I love him and I miss him so very much...
And I know that he can't see this or read it or feel it because he's in a better place but Happiest of Birthdays to my Beautiful boy in Heaven 💙
I love and miss you more than I can express in words today nothing is good enough for you today.


My baby

His baby boy Brayden

                                                            My boy and his love💙



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